Posted on | December 5, 2012 | No Comments
2012 is almost over. As the world waits in eager(some dreadful) anticipation for the clock to strike 2013, more and more people around the world ponder existential questions themselves. If the Mayan calendar is held to lend some truth, it will be the end of the world as we know it in 12-21-2012., just a few days from now.
Let’s say the world would indeed end this month, assuming you have just enough time to make some changes to how you have been living since and correct some of your greatest regrets in live, what would those be? What’s your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die along with the world?
Tough questions to answer, isn’t it? But a palliative nurse who has counseled the dying in their last days has found out the most common regrets people have at the end of their lives. And at the top of the list is, ‘I wish I hadn’t worked so hard’.
Do you work to hard that your time spend with your love ones are the ones that are left over?
Do you live true to yourself and not what others want to?
Do you have enough friends you laugh with and share silly moments with?
Are you happy with the way you live right now? Or are there things you wanted to do but just couldn’t and wouldn’t?
Knowing your greatest regret could lead you to find that which is most important things to have and work for. Here are the top five sure things you will not regret at the end of your life:
1. Have the courage to live a life true to yourself, not the life others expected of you.
Look into your inner self, into your inner soul. There you will find the real you. You are not merely flesh and bones. You are more than what you have become. You have the ability and the capability to know spiritual things, things that matter most at the end of your life. You have the capability to be kind, to love instead of hate, to make peace instead of war, to give rather than get. Live true to that real you.
People die every day not knowing what they lived for. Life is not just about eating and drinking. We are all a part of this great circle of life. Each one contributing to this worlds existence.
When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
Be courageous enough to live a life true to yourself, not what others want you to live out. This is one surest thing you will not regret at the end of your life, or if the World Ends in 2012.
2. Do not work so hard that there is no time left for you to spend with your children or love ones.
This is specially true with men. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also speaks of this regret, especially if they are the breadwinners in the family. According to study done by Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
All of the men deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
I know this to be true. I am a father of 4, and it is not easy to raise 1 child, let alone 4. If I had not learn early on that I needed to spend as much time with my children as I do with work. I don’t want to go into old age and turn back the clock with regret. I want to enjoy them as much as I can while they are with me. There will come a time when they will have their own lives and they will go far from home. I want them to feel my love, the love of a father.
3. Have the courage to express your feelings.
Millions, if not, billions of people all over the world are trapped in this mire. They are filled with unexpressed feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried for years and years as a result.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Have you heard of that phrase before? I know I did. Some of you may have too. And maybe in one. Don’t let this regret take you to your grave. It’s a lonely place to carry such a heavy burden.
4. Have as many friends as possible and stay in touch with them.
This is why I appreciate the blessing of the cyber world. The world is now open for anyone in the world to be connected to people from their past. FACEBOOK is such a huge part of this. Don’t strip yourself of this opportunity. Keep in touch with your friends, near and far.
Here is a line from Bronnie Ware:
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.
Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. Stay in touch with your friends, its another sure thing you will not regret all your life. Even if the World Ends in 2012.
5. Allow yourself to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, it does not come with achievements or things a person acquires through hard work or wealth. Many have tried to conquer the world to find happiness only to come home devoid of it. World empires since the beginning of the world were establish with that one singular goal, “to find that which makes the Emperor happy!”
You can argue with me all you want, but I will say this, “they didn’t come close to being happy all their lives!”
Surprising statement! Not really. Many do not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
Yeah, do you wish to be happier? Then choose to be happy. It is yours to make not for anyone.
There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps or trip around the world or being a billionaire?
What’s your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?
Let me know what you have to say in the comment section. I can’t wait to read them.