Posted on | August 14, 2012 | No Comments
It’s going against everything I believe in, but there’s still this thought in my mind that it’s going to happen, sooner or later…
The message was from an attractive teenage girl. In spite of the pressure of her friends at school, the permissive society we live in and the constant immoral bombardment of television and movies, she set certain sexual values and standards for herself.
But now, approaching her late-teens, Jessa (not her real name) finds herself weakening. She is confused and worried about her fluctuating desires and feelings. Is she really old-fashioned in her thinking like some of the young men she dates say?
They expect me to do things I go against. They expect me to go to bed with them, and when I tell them no, they tell me to grow up.
How would you answer Jessa? I’ve read and reread her message and I believe there are more Jessa’s out there than we might think – young people with moral standards they’re having a difficult time upholding.
Who’s Old Fashioned?
Feeling good about yourself, whether male or female, and desiring to maintain a certain sense of self-respect is not old-fashioned. That’s a natural and right emotion for every human being.
On the other hand, a lack of concern for others’ future sexual lives is as “old as the hills” too. We didn’t create sex and lovemaking in the 21th century. Not to mention the staggering statistics of divorces, marital separations, and remarriages today. Or the alarming numbers of living-in partners that has no desire to commit themselves to each other for each others sake.
As far as getting to do the same things as the other kids in high school, I believe I should wait and share my body with the guy I really love and devote my life to.
How many of you guys when you were ready to begin a family and home wouldn’t like to meet this girl? Or have you given up on there being any Jessas left?
Everyone talks about making love, but it makes me sick. If they really loved each other, they wouldn’t have someone else every other week.
Is what is going out there really love, or is it the not-too-cleverly counterfeit LUST? Too often it’s lust – a total lack of real love and concern for another.
Everyone needs to love and to be loved, and not just by one’s family. As Jessa matures physically she realizes that more and more.
Maybe I’m just lonely. I need someone to hold me. I want to feel like someone really loves me. And sometimes parents, family and friends don’t fill that longing. What should I do?
Jessa is at a turning point in her life. She’s being pressured into making decisions that she shouldn’t have to face until she is out of her teenage years.
But this is the real world. You young people are being forced to grow up quickly. You’re being expected to make adult decisions daily, not only by your friends, but by adults. Why is Jessa at her tender age alone with young men so immature in their thinking that they’ve labeled her body some sort of personal sexual experimentation zone?
And you young men, realize that there are certain girls who will experiment with yours feelings and cast you aside like an empty soft drink can. That’s the way you feel afterward: crushed, empty and used – worthless piece of litter.
They’ll compare your performance with others. You’re just someone for them to make fun of with their friends. a humiliating experience? You bet. One that neither you nor anyone else, no matter what age, should ever have to suffer.
Be wary. It’s an experience that can pervert your feelings about the opposite sex and affect your sexual life, even in marriage.
Evaluate your friends and their moral standards – even if you’re in the “in crowd”. In the long run it’s not who’s in the “in” crowd that matters. it’s your success and happiness in the future that matters. It might be interesting to ask your parents:
Whatever happened to the people who were in the “in crowd” at your high school? Where are they now and how successful and happy are they?
I can only also share my high school and college story. And i can tell you straight, that those who thought they were the “in” crowd that time, they are not as “in” today. In fact many of them have been failures the whole time. I am not saying this to brag about it. But it is what it is.
This article is not going to be a long dissertation of the dos and don’ts of sex. It is too broad a subject.
We do care about you, Jessa, and all you others out there who are bucking a crowd on its way to sexual diseases, unhappy and broken marriages and a generally miserable, unsatisfying life. You have the opportunity to avoid these painful problems and, instead, to have the enjoyment now and the tremendous marriage later that God intended.
I say this:
Not everyone is doing it! TRUE LOVE WAITS!
To you Jessa and to many more out there – stick up for your values! You’re definitely worth it!
-your constant companion
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