Posted on | October 18, 2012 | 5 Comments
What’s one of the biggest confidence killers for people about building strong relationship? Beliefs they hold on to that undermine their confidence.
- Outrageous expectations (I have to be good and perfect for my husband/wife every time, or we need to always agree on anything no exceptions),
- Negative names they call themselves (I’m a fat and unattrractive. I am small and cannot be smart),
- “I can’t” statements (I can’t cook. I can’t Dance)
- And goofy beliefs (I can’t go out when I am not wearing my favorite red-striped underwear, or the pink-colored dress).
Maybe you’re ok not wearing striped undies. But I bet you have displayed some, if not all, of these tendencies from time-to-time.
If you haven’t, that’s great news!
Here’s the good news: You can help identify and overcome these beliefs.
First, you need to look at the types of beliefs mentioned above.
You then should identify some of the ways your thoughts and feelings fall into these categories.
For example, you might say, “I definitely have the ‘I can’t statement’ problem. I’m always telling myself I do not look good enough in an evening dress.”
Once you’ve helped your self identify these beliefs, you want to replace these beliefs with more positive ones.
For example, you might say, “I’m too small to be smarter. ”Have them change this to: “I am really caring and fun-loving. My friends needs me for these abilities.”
Building strong relationships is not a one time event. This is a journey of a lifetime. You should always remind yourself to replace negativity with more positive, realistic ideas.
It may take time, but be patient. Change of thinking does not happen overnight!
Looking forward to your comments!